 |
To defeat the enemy, we must know the enemy |
||
|
This article was first published at http://dragonnet.hkis.edu.hk/hosoffice/SARSInfo/beck.htm A FAMILY AFFAIR Dear Parents, This brief message is in response to questions (see below) raised by parents regarding the SARS outbreak. You may find the questions and "tips" for responding helpfully when talking with your child. The HKIS counselors and I will be happy to assist you with any issues of concern (email or call your child’s counselor or rbeck@hkis.edu.hk or call 2812-5373). Please do not hesitate to contact us. "Virtual School" has helped establish a level of predictability, productivity and routine that is both comforting and emotionally healthy for all. However, it is understandable that some children may continue to raise questions and concerns about SARS. Some may be more anxious than others. Some may ask more questions than others. Their age, previous experiences, separation from classmates, temperament and personality determine children’s emotional reactions. Our reactions as parents to the outbreak and to our child’s concerns are varied and wide-ranging. We want to help our children cope emotionally as best as possible. Whether listening to the news, reading about the outbreak, talking with friends and colleagues or talking as a family at the dinner table we all are involved at some emotional level. Coping emotionally with such an unusual event is a ‘family affair’. I hope you find the below "tips" and web site references of some assistance. Be a thorough listener and observer Is it important that I bring up the subject of SARS if my child has not brought up the topic recently? A general guideline is to "let children guide you as to how concerned they are or how much information they need." However, you should provide them with information that is necessary to maintain their safety and health. The younger the child, the less explanation is necessary. At any age, if you observe that your child takes unnecessary risks (i.e., not washing hands after traveling on public transportation), this should be brought to her/his attention with a reminder and brief explanation of why it is important to take precautionary actions. Help your child maintain a daily schedule and routine How important are routines? As mentioned above, virtual school has helped students establish healthy routines. It is very helpful emotionally to be able to predict what we will be doing from day-to-day. Lack of routines and predictability are psychological irritants that can lead to less adaptive and less productive behaviors. This is particularly true in unsettling times such as these. The establishment of routines and schedules adds a great deal of predictability and stability to our lives. One does not have to have a strict schedule but the establishment of a personal daily routine is recommended. Emphasize resiliency How can I help my child feel a sense of optimism and safety? Help your child understand that things will improve. This is not to suggest one should not tell the truth. However, noting that for now things are difficult but "in time, not necessarily right away, things will change and improve" helps reassure children. Sticking to facts and realities is important. The reality is that many scientists, physicians and government officials around the world are working very hard to improve our understanding and response to Sars. Take care of your needs What if I am emotionally upset? How can I deal with my emotions without upsetting my child? It is understandable that you may feel upset and out of "synch" during these difficult times. If you continue to be very anxious or upset, it is best to speak with other adults such as a friend, clergy or counselor. Sharing feelings with other adults helps us connect in ways that are comforting and reparative. By doing this you will be better able to help your child. It is important to do things together as a family (i.e., games at home, fun family exercise sessions). Equally important is to take time for yourself and do things, however small, that you enjoy. |
||
